Things That Don't Exist

 

Things That Don't Exist

"Dad, when did I stop believing in Santa?"

 

"I would say ten years ago when you were six or seven years old."

 

"And what about mermaids, the tooth fairy, and unicorns?" 

 

"I don't think you ever believed in those."

 

"What about the boogie man, big foot, and extraterrestrials?" 

 

"I'm not sure, but you still believe in those. I remember the X-Files was your favorite T.V. show. Why are you asking me these questions?"

 

"For an article, I'm preparing for the school paper about things that don't exist."

 

"Honest politicians. That should be the first thing on the list."

 

"You're full of shit, dad."

 

"Hey, I never talked that way to my father."

 

"That's because my grandpa was not full of shit." 

 

 Sometimes I talk to my dad as I talk to any of my friends, but that is a little rough. "Sorry, dad." I sincerely apologize. 

"It's okay, I talk to all my friends that way, and I consider you my friend. But ask around. Nobody knows an honest politician. They might have good intentions initially, but later they forget their promises or have to pay for past favors, so they forget about their original agendas." 

"Is that the reason nobody wants to vote and things never change, and if they do, it's only for the worse?" 

 

 "Yes." 

 

 "Okay, dad, and why do you think I never believed in God?" 

 

"I'm probably to blame for that; I've always told you to question authority. And God is the foremost authority. If he exists." he concluded.

 

Then I check my long list. I don't believe in the Bible, the resurrection, mortal sins, or divine interventions. I don't believe in the afterlife or the final judgment. I don't believe in miracles, saints, or Virgins having babies. And capital punishment, by either the hand of God or humans (I find that completely absurd). Nor do I believe in legal or illegal aliens. I believe in humans instead. I don't believe in freedom either because everybody needs to respond to a higher authority for their actions. Nobody's ever free. You get your freedom when you die. 

 

I don't believe in intuition, fate or karma, eternal love, or matrimony (what a joke). Nobody respects marriage anymore. The perfect man, the perfect woman, or the perfect child don't exist.

 

Psychics, they're charlatans. Psychiatrists and psychologists all need professional help. Scientists keep predicting calamities that never materialize. The future doesn't exist because it never gets here. World peace will never exist. That's impossible. The only thing humans are good for is creating wars.

 

The more knowledge you acquire, the more fearful you become. We still can't find a cure for the common cold, and new illnesses keep emerging. Wait, these things exist, and I escaped the topic because all the negativity involved makes me furious.

 

"Now that I think about it, I don't feel happy. I don't believe in anything. And I should blame you for my unhappiness. You made me a skeptical cynic, dad." 

 

"Wait a minute. You were happy this morning. You hugged and kissed me and wished me a happy birthday. You're just beginning to think like an adult. Welcome to the real world."

 

He might be right! I suddenly found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but it was empty. What a shock. To compensate for my disappointment, I'll list the things I believe exist, like love and friendship. But I haven't fallen in love yet, and my friends keep stabbing me in the back, so there goes friendship too. How about "luck," if I was lucky, maybe? There must be something else. Let me see, "respect" no, I just demonstrated to my dad that I don't have any. But it's his fault. He told me to question authority. 

 

 Let's concentrate; am I trying to find what? Oh yes, things I believe exist. Material things, oh, yes, I found one, money. Money exists, and I believe in money. With money, you can buy all things that exist.

 

And with that, I finished my article. I only need to change the title. 

 

Instead of "Things That Don't Exist," I'll entitle it: "A Materialistic Incredulous Cynic." that's it.

 

 

 

Edmundo Barraza

 

Lancaster, Ca. 09-10-2014

 

http://edbar1952-accomplishedignorant.blogspot.com

 *My heart and soul are with my friends (all of them) that died on Sept-11-2001