If I Were the President

                      

As we all know the goal of most Miss Universe candidates is to end world hunger, educate children, house all homeless people in the world and stop all wars around the globe. But if they achieve absolutely nothing it’s understandable. 

On the other hand, we assume it should be different with our presidential candidates. After all, they are applying for the most powerful job in the world. During their political campaigns they say they have a million brilliant ideas to solve all what's wrong in the country, but in the end nothing gets done either.

     

Well, it's my turn to fix our Nation, and this is what I would do . . .

·        I would solve half our troubles with just one move . . .  I would give Alaska to all Republican politicians and their followers. That way they could have their own country. I bet Russia would try to move further away. This could be a magnificent idea. After all, they’re the ones that cause all the problems, and the ones that don’t allow us to fix them.

·        My next priority would be to build a big wall around Alaska, to keep all Republicans inside. Huge, tall and strong. After all, we know Republicans love walls, fences and barriers.

·        Revise and edit the Constitution. We can’t consider it sacred forever.

·        Prohibit arms in the hands of the civil population. It has worked wonders in other countries, and they are happier and more civilized than USA.

·        Ban our troops in foreign countries, unless they attack us first (in our own territory).

·        Drug tests to all Welfare recipients. It’s only fair. I don’t see anything wrong with this. If you do drugs, you don’t need our help.

·        I would ban the Death Penalty. It’s useless, ineffective, futile, irrelevant and absurd. It has never worked as a deterrent.

·        I know that regular people can do a lot more than a hundred presidents. So I would give them the power to organize and help each other. I would turn the USA and its entire population into a nation of volunteers. The rich people would take care of the poor people. We would organize the powerful to help the weak.

·        I would prohibit the oil industry, pharmaceutical companies, the NRA, and other diabolical industries from giving donations to all political candidates. Actually, the NRA would be automatically dismantled, since all their members would be in Alaska.

·        I would turn all jails and prisons into the brightest school system in the world. Any inmates that obtain a new diploma would have their time reduced, or would get their freedom back. This is a brilliant idea.

·        Voting is a privilege just like driving. If you don’t vote, you don’t drive. If you don’t vote, your driver’s license could be suspended. Mandatory voting should be obligatory in all democracies. You should be happy you could vote anyway. With mandatory voting, most controversial debates about Healthcare, Immigration, Oil drilling, Environmental issues, and many more divisive topics would disappear. 

·        I would create an organization to supervise government spending. Such Office would have no ties to the government sector (the culprit of all senseless, superfluous, and misused funds). Once this office operates at its full potential the budget deficit would be cut in half. 

·        Legalize marijuana in all states. We will be a happier and more relaxed country. 

Okay, I admit it, some of these points sound outright childish, but if God could grant me a wish I’ll use it for the first point on my list. 

The reason my list looks so short it’s because with item number one I would take care of half our problems. 

God Save America. And the rest of the world too. After all, God wasn't born in America.

Edmundo Barraza

Lancaster, Ca. February-2015