“Dad, regardless of all differences between us, despite all the arguments and disputes we have, you’re still my role model. It’s comforting to know how brave and fearless you are . . .”
“Wait a minute son, what do you need? Why so many compliments in a row? It sounds like you’re ready to ask for something.”
“No dad, I don’t need a reason to say something nice to you, I just want you to know that I appreciate you for being a good father. You know, some of my friends don’t have a father, and that must be tough.”
“Stop it right there, before you make me cry. If I’m a good father it’s because you’re a good son, you make my job easier.”
“What I really wanted to know is if you’re afraid of anything. I’m sure I’ve never seen you scared.”
“Well, actually I fear a few things, but my biggest fear is to be buried alive. I even have recurring dreams about it. By the way, when I die, I want you to make sure that I’m really dead. I also want you to leave two things in my coffin, my cell phone and my gun too.”
“You got it dad. That’s a weird request, but logical after all.” after a pause, “Oh, I almost forgot, can I use your car tonight dad?”
“I knew it!”
What’s this? This must be a joke. What the hell?! It looks like a coffin. Damn! This can’t be possible. (Starts banging on the coffin’s lid) Damn! I knew it, they buried me alive. Help! Help! Somebody, get me out of here! I’m alive! I’m alive! Oh God, why did you do this to me? Was I such a bad person to deserve this punishment? Wait a minute! Where’s the phone? Oh God, he remembered, (finds it in his shirt pocket) I’m saved, (a dim light shines on, dials frantically . . . no signal) what the fuck!!! AHHH!!! . . . What about the gun?! Where's the gun? (Finds it on his side, tucked against his ribcage. While checking if it's loaded, accidentally discharges the only bullet in the chamber) AHHH!!!
Why am I not dead yet? I don’t understand, I should have breathed all the oxygen in the coffin by now. I just hope this is not my eternal hell. Could it be that your worse fear turns out to be your eternal damnation? I must have been a real bad person? But do I deserve to die twice? And to think that I still have to go to hell. This is just perfect, I’m not cold yet and everybody forgot about me already. I hope this is the way everybody dies. Maybe this is what Purgatory was meant to be.
What did I die of, anyway? . . . Damn, I’m thirsty . . . I can resist a week without food, but this thirst is killing me . . . again . . . What good is it a phone or a gun if I don’t have any water . . . But if I had water, that would only prolong my misery . . . How long have I been here? . . . If I could, I would kill myself . . . I wonder if my son put another bullet somewhere in my pants. (Looks for it, and instead finds an envelope full of money in his back pocket) What the hell is this? Money? What do I need money for? This is so dumb . . . (Then, with his eyes wide open, astonished and scared . . .
he hears a faint sound coming from up above, maybe at ground level . . . and another . . . and another, sounding each time closer and clearer. Until finally, son lifts the coffin's lid).
“Dad, you’re alive! How could it be? It can't be possible!"
“Of course I’m alive, why did you bury me alive, didn’t I tell you to make sure?”
“I’m sorry dad, I was sure about it, but aren’t you glad, I was wrong?”
“How long have I been here?”
“How come I didn’t run out of air?”
“I told the funeral director about your fears, and he was kind enough to offer a space next to the storm drain. Let me show you.” (Shows a small tunnel next to the head of the coffin).
“How did you know I was alive after all?”
“I didn’t, I came back for the money I was saving to buy a car. My mom made a mistake. You’re wearing my pants!”
“I love you son.”
“I love you dad.”
On a black screen, while credits roll: “Next time I die, I want to be cremated son.”
“You got it dad, whatever you say.”
Lancaster, Ca. Jun-20-2015